Rage isn’t commonly recognized as a symptom in the postpartum period (the period after giving birth). However, many new moms and other new parents feel angry during this time.

Anger, or even rage, can happen on its own or be a symptom of postpartum depression (PPD) — a type of depression diagnosed in people who’ve become parents during the past year. It may also be a symptom of a different mental health condition.

If you’ve recently had a baby and feel like you have started losing your temper more easily, you’re in the right place. With insights from certified perinatal mental health provider and licensed clinical professional counselor Amy Eisenberg, we discuss the potential reasons behind postpartum rage and give an overview of some ways to make you feel better.

While discussion around postpartum depression often centers around new mothers, it’s worth noting that it can affect new parents of any gender, though new fathers and nonbinary parents are less likely to seek help.

What Is Postpartum Rage?

Postpartum rage is feeling intensely angry, aggressive, and easily frustrated during the postpartum period in a way that would be unlike you under normal circumstances. These feelings may be directed toward your partner, your baby, family members, or even yourself, and they can last for months.

While you may think we’re talking about full-on outbursts of rage, postpartum anger can be much more subtle, Eisenberg explained. “You might feel a physical experience of having a racing heart rate or tension or tightness in your body. You might feel hot and it might manifest as slamming things or walking away,” she said.

Rage can be a sign that you’re overwhelmed. “A new baby can feel like it’s a pressure cooker, building and building,” Eisenberg described. “Then finally you just have these explosions. But the worst part is that women feel shame afterward. The shame can be really detrimental.”

And while postpartum anger or rage does not have an official diagnosis like postpartum depression itself, it doesn’t mean that it’s rare or can’t be helped.

What Causes Postpartum Anger?

It’s unclear exactly why some people experience angry feelings after having a baby. However, the likely causes of postpartum anger may include:

• The stress of the transition of becoming a parent
• Physical changes after giving birth
• Feelings associated with sacrificing personal needs in order to meet the demands of the baby
• Sleep deprivation (lack of sleep) and chronic fatigue

Is Rage a Symptom of Postpartum Depression?

Intense anger can be a symptom of a postpartum mood disorder, such as postpartum depression. Other signs and symptoms of PPD include constantly feeling down for two weeks or more within the first year of becoming a parent, as well as:

• Hopelessness, sadness, or guilt
• Fatigue or restlessness
• Decreased interest in activities that normally bring you joy
• Brain fog and inability to make decisions
• Sleep and appetite changes
• Physical pains without an established medical reason
• Inability to attach to the new baby emotionally
• Doubts about being a good parent
• Thoughts of death or hurting your baby

If these symptoms seem familiar, you might have PPD. It’s unlikely that it will go away on its own, meaning that the best idea is to let your healthcare provider know and schedule an appointment for an evaluation.

Postpartum anxiety is another disorder that can cause a person to experience intense rage. Feeling constantly worried can make you feel frustrated and on edge, leading to anger outbursts.

Ways To Feel Better

While these waves of anger can definitely feel overwhelming, there are multiple ways to help you cope with postpartum rage and get back to yourself.

Ask for Help

Many new parents put pressure on themselves to do it all alone. While it may feel like your baby is safest with you, the saying “it takes a village” is a cliché for a reason.

This is especially true if you’ve been doing most of the household chores alone before having a baby. You might want to cater to your baby’s needs while also taking care of the house like you did before.

However, this sets an unrealistic standard for yourself, ultimately making you feel angry for not living up to your own expectations.

Remember that you don’t have to be alone in this. Seeking support from your partner and family members can help reduce postpartum rage. Your friends and family can help by:

• Cleaning the house
• Doing the laundry
• Shopping for groceries
• Prepping meals
• Staying with the baby for a few hours

If possible, you can also hire a babysitter or postpartum doula. You can reach out to your healthcare team for help connecting with local resources.

Take Some Time for Yourself

Allowing others to help you out means that you can free up some time in the day to take proper care of yourself.

Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. It can be as simple as taking a shower while someone else tends to the baby, spending time with your partner, taking a nap, or reading a magazine.

Light exercise and eating a well-balanced meal can also help you feel better. “Making sure you’re eating protein, you’re drinking water, you’re getting the right nutrients, because if you’re not eating enough, that can also add to feeling depleted, which could then add to having less patience and being exhausted,” Eisenberg noted.

Practice Mindfulness

Eisenberg emphasizes the importance of staying mindful while dealing with postpartum rage outbursts. When the wave of anger hits, allow yourself to stay in that moment instead of reacting immediately and to take a break until you’re feeling calmer.

Don’t forget to be self-compassionate. Consider trying out mindfulness strategies, such as meditation, yoga, or breathing exercises. Journaling can be another way to help cope with tension and become more mindful.

Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, seeking help from professionals may be the ultimate self-care act you need. According to a study published in the journal Qualitative Health Research, mothers who made an effort to address their anger and express it constructively were more satisfied with their lives.

If you feel like you can’t seem to figure out how to manage your anger by yourself, or if the anger feels overwhelming, let your primary care provider, your OB-GYN, your midwife, or a mental health provider know.

They’ll evaluate you for postpartum depression and other related mental health disorders. Depending on your needs, they might recommend medications, such as antidepressants, and talk therapy.

Your healthcare provider may be able to refer you to a mental health professional with experience treating postpartum depression. You can also ask for referrals from local parent support groups, consult your insurance company’s provider directory, or search for someone on PsychologyToday.com.

Eisenberg emphasized the importance of having someone trusted and nonjudgmental to talk to: “By telling our partners or a therapist or family members that we trust, the intensity inside of us can lose power and we can feel a release of that tension inside of us.”

Additional resources for maternal mental health include:

• Contacting free professional counselors 24/7 by calling or texting 833-TLC-MAMA (833-852-6262) for the National Maternal Health Hotline.
• Calling or texting 800-944-4PPD (800-944-4773) for Postpartum Support International. This resource offers help in English and Spanish.

Intense frustration can make you feel hopeless, leading to thoughts of harming yourself or the baby. If that’s the case, call 911 as soon as possible or go to the nearest emergency room. In the U.S., you may also call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or use the chat feature on their website.

Find Your Team

MyDepressionTeam is the social network for people living with all types of depression, including postpartum depression, and their loved ones.

Have you experienced postpartum rage? Have the stressors of early parenting made you angrier than normal? Share your experience, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.