The holidays can bring traditions, time with loved ones, and moments of joy. They can also bring pressure, difficult memories, loneliness, and expectations about how you are “supposed” to feel. The season can be especially difficult for people living with mental health conditions, including depression.

For people living with depression, the season can be complicated. Depression can affect sleep, eating, energy, and daily activities.

MyDepressionTeam members have shared ways of getting through the holidays, including simplifying plans and finding small ways to connect with others.

Here are six ways members make the holidays more manageable.

Holiday images can make it seem as though everyone should be cheerful, surrounded by loved ones, and enjoying every tradition. Several MyDepressionTeam members said lowering their expectations helped ease the pressure.

One member shared, “I can tell ya how I’m going to handle this year. Give what I can and try to see the simple moments and memories before me. Oh, and just one more thing … NO EXPECTATIONS.”

“I can tell ya how I’m going to handle this year. Give what I can and try to see the simple moments and memories before me.”

— A MyDepressionTeam member

Another said, “I try to be easy on myself and not have any real expectations. I smile when the mood strikes me and do not attach a huge amount of significance to this month.”

You don’t have to recreate an ideal holiday or force yourself to feel cheerful. Consider which traditions matter most and which ones you might skip this year.

Holiday invitations can bring conflicting feelings. You may want to spend time with loved ones, but feel anxious or overwhelmed by a gathering.

Some MyDepressionTeam members described setting boundaries around their plans. One shared, “Go where you can go, don’t go where you can’t or don’t want to go. This year when I go visiting with my wife, I’m taking my own car, and when it’s time to bail, I’m out.”

Another preferred hosting: “I don’t go to other people’s homes. I have everyone here, so I am in my comfort zone.”

“I don’t go to other people’s homes. I have everyone here, so I am in my comfort zone.”

— A MyDepressionTeam member

If you’re unsure about attending a gathering, consider what might make it more manageable. You could arrange your own transportation, decide how long you’ll stay, or attend only the events that feel most important to you.

Spending time alone can be especially hard during the holidays, particularly when it seems like everyone else is celebrating. Health experts recommend making time to stay connected with others when loneliness feels difficult.

One MyDepressionTeam member put it simply: “I don’t hate the holidays, I hate being alone.”

Yet connection doesn’t have to mean attending a crowded party or spending an entire day with other people.

Members described different ways of finding company, including:

• Arranging a meal with a friend
• Spending time with a faith community
• Attending a local event
• Connecting with people online
• Celebrating on a different day

A phone call, brief visit, or walk with a friend may feel more manageable than a large gathering. Even a small connection may help you feel less isolated.

The holidays can bring reminders of people who are no longer there or traditions that have changed. For some MyDepressionTeam members, grief becomes especially noticeable during this time of year.

One member shared, “I grieve my mom every year. I try my best, but it still hurts.”

Another described painful memories tied to the season: “For me, the holiday over the festive season is home to the traumatic passing of my dad … Without intent, it is always there and strongest over Christmas.”

Grief and enjoyment can exist at the same time. You may appreciate parts of the season while still missing someone deeply.

If certain traditions bring up painful memories, you might choose to change them or find a small way to honor someone you’ve lost. There’s no single right way to experience grief during the holidays.

When the season feels heavy, familiar activities may provide comfort or structure. Doing things you used to enjoy, even when depression makes it difficult, can help boost your motivation.

One MyDepressionTeam member shared, “I do my best to be nice to myself and do things that I want to do, such as playing music or watching TV.”

“I do my best to be nice to myself and do things that I want to do, such as playing music or watching TV.”

— A MyDepressionTeam member

Consider keeping a few comforting activities in mind for difficult days, whether that’s listening to music, spending time with a pet, or stepping outside for fresh air.

You don’t have to fill every day with holiday activities. Sometimes, making time for something familiar and enjoyable is enough.

If your depression symptoms are getting worse or everyday activities are becoming harder to manage, consider reaching out to your doctor or mental health professional.

You can also reach out to someone you trust. Letting a friend or family member know you’re struggling may help you feel less alone.