Going to the ER when your thoughts begin to drift towards self-harm or harm to others, to *PREVENT* yourself from crossing that line, should not be questioned by your or any behavioral healthcare professional.

The reason you went is because your mind had enough sense to sound a warning bell, help you be mindful that, yes, I am in a very bad and potentially dangerous place and I can't begin to resolve it without medical professional intervention.

You can tell your psychiatrist that that kind of absolute bravery and realization that you need help is called "self-preservation," you made the judgement call to get help. Having been to the ER twice in the last year for exactly your same reasons, yes, it sucks and can be a bit embarrassing because your depression makes you believe that you're not worth the time from the medical professional's standpoint, and your giving aspect believes you aren't as bad off as others in the ER to be treated.

No, you are damn well worth going to the ER to keep yourself on an even keel, or get your healing and recovery journey started. I'd be Googling behavioral health practices in your area and get to shopping for someone a bit more empathetic and compassionate.

My best to you and keep going, you're doing just fine...

Peace and hugs! 🧡✌🏻

Exactly what Doug said ^
Don't settle for that BS. Need someone better. And there is someone better out there. Find them!