My life has been destroyed many times. Too many times to be repairable...

Right now, you are so very angry at your situation. You are closed off to suggestions because everything you have tried hasn't worked. You are mad at the world. Until you can get some relief from your pain and see that people have been where you are, that there is hope but you have to let go of all this anger and accept some help from all of us and the medical profession. Christopher, I hope you will give it a try. It is a long process but it can be done. My best to you!!!

Go away!!!!

I've tried that... Doesn't work. I have no reason to stay on this plain of existence.

If you can sign a pact with your therapist that you will not hurt yourself or kill yourself can be a help. Promise you will go to hospital if you have active plans to kill yourself. I did that, it worked for me.