I still have trouble believing it was me, and everyone else wasn't wrong. Like I said, all my other times of being depressed was nothing like this

@A MyDepressionTeam Member My "first time" was similar....I was unaware how depressed I was or even that I was depressed at all. A doctor even asked me if I was depressed and I said no. No of course not! I also was psychotic! As I now call it a "trip to hell and back" The worst moments of my life I didn't believe it until it happened again 7 years later. So you see I've been to hell twice!

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A MyDepre...

yes,journalingis a great way to get things out of your mind. Then you can go back and read it later on, when you are getting better and see how far you have came.Some people actually don't believe in depression. I have had an episode in november where I wasn't even aware at the time I was depressed. It was completely unlike anyother episodes I had ever had. I actuallly had severe depression with psychotic ideations. still hard for me to believe I actually thought what I was saying, I made up.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member I understand what you are saying. I get it cus it has happened to me. Sometimes it seems like you have to explain why you feel a certain way in order for people to "get it" And I don't like explaining. Be glad you have people that are supportive that is a good thing. And if you wish you can try explaining to them how you feel or what makes you so sad or so angry. I find writing in a journal to be helpful. I hope this helps.

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A MyDepre...