im a kid myself tbh and I think you should tell them how your feeling don't keep it from them let them be your shelter from it, and shelter them at the same time pay close attention you never know they could be dealing with something similiar

You have to realise that you're a very important person, you have a child so you must take care of yourself. Mums are really great at putting their children first, and who wouldn't, but what's most important to your child is your emotional health. If you're suffering, don't think for one second that they aren't aware, because it comes across in ways we can't hide. So it follows that looking after yourself is part of the job.
I think you need to make a list of things you think you need in order to heal. Is that some regular scheduled time to yourself each week? Do you have things you like to do, even if it's a bit of peace and quiet just to take things in, read a book, sleep in, have a bath?
Consider if instead it might be that you want to spend time with your children outside of the home, such as having a picnic, going to an Aquarium? Do some gardening?
Maybe even some rules around the house to make things easier on you? Such as creating a chore chart for the kids, so that every time you go into their rooms you're not faced with mountains of piled up clothes?
You haven't said if you have a partner, someone on who you can lean? Are they aware of your difficulties? If not, I strongly suggest you sit them down and be frank about what you need to heal. Often we fear rejection when we get support in spades.
I know I'm throwing a lot of things at you, but you sound tired (I mean emotionally as well as physically) so you may not have even considered these sorts of things. Whatever you end up deciding, make sure you actually do it, and stop putting yourself second for a while. I know it's hard for a Mum, but please try.
In the end, I have to say that children are amazingly resilient creatures, they're made to be able to cope with growth and bounce back, otherwise none of us would have ever survived! So don't worry, they'll cope better than you think if you need time for yourself. After all it's a natural part of growing up.
By the way, if you ever question yourself about this again, I know you're a loving and involved full-time Mum already, as you actually took the time to write this question up, so clearly it's on your mind. Your concern will guide you, listen to your inner voice and try not to drown it out but listen, as your instincts are always right on the money because they're yours.

I would love the answer to this.....I wasn't able to 'heal' and be Mum. I left my children and now I'm Howls and healing. It has been the most heartbreaking time.

Use your children as a healing stone and hug them tight that's what I do

It's. The same trying to be a father and husband.
I find it very hard to be there for everyone.
I used to be sex mad.
Now I've lost interest in that too.
Trying to be there for me wife is very hard she lost her mother last year , but I often feel that I don't do enough for her.
And that does not help me feel anything good about myself...j
She keeps telling me to look after myself first.
So it's very hard to answer that question at the moment in time.