That sounds like me. I would use alcohol and Xanax just to get numb.After a few DUIs I just stopped.That was in my 30s.Im 62 now and have not had a drink in about 15 yrs. I got tired of wakeing up with a terrible headache. I also did a kind of reset when my long time Phyc moved to Savannah GA.I slowly stopped all my meds. Wanted if I could handle my BiPolar ( manic & depression, panic attacks) it was ok for a while. I finally found a new Phyc. I’m only on about 3 meds now compared to a lot more way back when. My parents,grandparents and cuz n aunts n uncles on both sides dealt with abuse of a lot in f different substance. Some passed away from it. I did not want to live that kind of life. So with a strong mind and body n God I stood b4 it got really bad. I don’t really miss it don’t even think about it.
Also being from the lifestyle that Louisiana is own for did not help some of my relatives troubles either. It’s a party all the time there. 😂
Do what u find works for u. Just don’t let it ever anything or anyone control u. Best of luck.💕🙏

I too abused alcohol and drugs. When I got sick and tired of being sick and tired I stopped. Was in therapy most of life and had huge shift and awareness. Never abused again. Took meds only as prescribed and could have occasional drink like every few months. If I did drink would not even finish it. Would leave alcohol in glass and be done. Realized I did not have gene that caused alcoholism but rather had a great need to numb self. Had done it MOST OF LIFE. Drank alcoholicly yet was not alcoholic. Realize this could be slippery slope for some. Yet the ease in which it happened was unbelievable. I had done A Lot of work and come out the other side. I even abused sugar. Would abuse anything that would numb me. I was just self medicating. Yet after so much work just did not have need to do same.Have not had drink of drug abusively for 4 years now. At times will even turn it down I don’t want people to think this is normal tho. I know people who abused like me and truly r alcoholics and addicts! I know it is a very hard line to define! It’s still hard for me to understand. I just know that it happened to me. I don’t want true alcoholics or addicts to believe that u can do this. If u have the gene it is a tricky awful disease and abstinence is only answer!! Hope I have not confused anyone. Best to all who read this.

They are both sticks of sweating dynamite being carried by a racehorse on a rocky mountain road. For those who don't know, sweating dynamite is about as dangerous as it gets.

My response doesn't quite match your question. I love a good bourbon and began to detect how easy it was to rely on it. At first it was merely an occasional social thing but the fact I liked it and once started did not want to stop put me on notice and sent up red flares of the danger. So I see the demon stalking in the shadows grinning.

I was after I stopped cocaine I started drinking vodka heavily. I could do 7 dollars for a liter of vodka
I couldn't keep coming up reasons to borrow money.for cocaine. You never saw me without a cup of orange juice.& vodka that lasted about 6 months till Russell put his foot down. He already knew I was going to be drunk what kind of drunk today friendly, sexy, mean, past out, wanting to fight what type. He put his foot down I had options AorB. A stay in my house and take care of the family or B I can chose my vodka and will be homeless The choice is mine That was first week of December 2010. I've been liquor free since than. Every now & than I might have a beer or glass of wine. Me & my dad like a cold beer in late afternoon shake the day off before dinner. I like this way better