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Does anyone here struggle with the forgiveness of abusers from your past???

A MyDepressionTeam Member asked a question 💭
Vancouver, WA
March 30
 · 
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Answer Summary

Members shared deeply personal stories about forgiving abusers, most often parents or family members, with perspectives ranging from those who... Read more

Members shared deeply personal stories about forgiving abusers, most often parents or family members, with perspectives ranging from those who have fully forgiven to those who choose not to and feel no guilt about that choice. Several members described forgiveness as a personal release that freed them from negativity and allowed them to move forward, even when the abuser had passed away or when reconciliation wasn't possible, with some emphasizing that forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or maintaining a relationship. A recurring theme was the tension between personal healing and religious teachings about forgiveness, with members respectfully acknowledging that faith plays different roles for different people in their journey toward peace.

A MyDepressionTeam Member

My faith tradition states as it harms none, do as you will, so as long as I don't seek to cause harm as they caused me, I feel fine in not forgiving.

March 30
A MyDepressionTeam Member

Love the AI answer. Some people will never get my forgiveness, and that's ok by me. I don't waste any time thinking about whether I should or not. What's done is done.

March 30
MyDepressionTeam

Do you struggle with forgiving past abusers?

This is an incredibly difficult and deeply personal challenge that many people with depression face. Struggling with forgiveness of past abuse is completely valid, and there's no "right" timeline or requirement for how you should feel.

It's important to remember that Show Full Answer

Do you struggle with forgiving past abusers?

This is an incredibly difficult and deeply personal challenge that many people with depression face. Struggling with forgiveness of past abuse is completely valid, and there's no "right" timeline or requirement for how you should feel.

It's important to remember that forgiveness is a personal choice, not an obligation. Your healing journey is about you, not about absolving someone else. Some people find peace through forgiveness, while others find strength in setting boundaries and moving forward without it.

What might help:

- Working through these feelings with a therapist who specializes in trauma
- Remembering that healing doesn't require reconciliation with your abuser
- Focusing on your own growth and recovery rather than what others "deserve"
- Recognizing that it's okay to end toxic relationships permanently

If violence or safety concerns were factors in your past, consider seeking support services when it's safe to do so. Your wellbeing and safety come first, always.

Many MyDepressionTeam members have found that talking through difficult feelings with trusted friends, family, or professionals helps validate that their emotions are normal and that they're not alone in their struggles.

March 30
A MyDepressionTeam Member

My main abuser was my dad. He passed away he caused me a lot of physical & emotional abuse. My mother who I haven't spoken to in 21 years caused me alot of emotional among other types of abuse. I have forgiven both of them. But I have decided to move on with my life.

March 31
A MyDepressionTeam Member
March 31

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