You know Linda I too have thoughts from time to time like what you noted and I try hard to make negatives into positives because I don’t like feeling bad especially about myself. And as far as what others opinions are of me, well that is up to them but I like feeling good and I have control over myself 100% of the time. God created me and I want to live the life he wants me to live no matter what others feel or think. I don’t push religion on anyone but I am very spiritual and my beliefs are strong.

I have never done that. I denied that I was bipolar for 24 years. In 2019 I finally came to the conclusion that I'm bipolar and I need help. So I buckled down and started working on myself, learning about bipolar and what to do to stay out of the hospital. What's the point in questioning it. Do something about it. Get proactive and work on it. That's the best thing you can do.

The funny thing is, I am such a positive person. I'm always the one telling someone they have a nice smile...... good job etc. giving others confidence. I have been dealt so many negative blows in life.... I've moved on... but they have affected me very deeply.
I know I will never change this "feeling" about myself... I am a very confident, can do person at work-- an over achiever. If I focus on my abilities, not my looks etc, I avoid more disappointment, in the obvious.

Linda, GOD loves you and all of us, no matter what.
:)

I can't stand to look in a mirror..... I refuse to . I don't have one in my bedroom... There's only one in the bathroom.... and it's only there because I don't own the place..... I am unlovable, ugly , fat and wonder who would love me, etc, when I look in the mirror...... All I see is all my flaws.... and the answer is No One would. So, yes, I avoid mirrors...... helps me get thru the days a lot easier.