Pray to God to help you in Jesus name. Trust him to do his will for you and have faith and be patient and he will give you the strength to move on when it's time. REMEMBER all that is made of and by God the Father return to him when it dies.Your child is in the masters hand and patient Awaiting to see you again one day.You have to be strong because your other kids need you.They may feel you loved their sibling more than them but we know that not true.So they lost someone they love too and are probably scared.You have to let them know that you are there for them and I promise that you ask God for help he will send his son Jesus to help you and we all here at MDT are here for you and we love you 😍 ❤️ 😇🥰🙏💯

Hello Lori7 I'm Donna, You are in a right set of people with circumstances that lead to depression. We don't judge, we give lots of love @ hugs. One of us has been through what you are going through, or have already been there. I don't know the pain of loosing a child but I do know the pain of loosing a sibling to homicide. My youngest brother. I watched my parents go from typical parents, to never being the same, after a 4am knock on the front door. I had my son on july 30th,1990. On September 16th 1990 my mom took drew home with her to spend the night. for the first time. Steven was so proud to be an uncle. He was the first family member I told I was pregnant, all steven said was have me a boy and I did lol. Steven wanted to play football, baseball, sports, take him fishing @ skying(water) and how to pick up girls lol. When he picked drew up for the first time my mom regretted not taking that picture. Steven left the house that evening.to test drive his car he never came back. Steven's bday is september 17th, buried him on the 18th. those are extremly 3 difficult days for me. One thing I know is there is no accepting it day by day you slowly learn to deal with it. There is no time limit on grief, and it's stages. As long as you don't stay there in self pity. You do have 4 other children that are grieving and don't know how to explain it, don't understand it. All they know is one day she's there,next shes gone. Them not speaking to you,they are blaming you. We as parents are to protect them, and they are right. Sometimes situations happen that can't be helped and then we lose a love one. There are free groups to help you with grief, there are groups for your kids to go to. It reassures the kids that they are not the only ones going through a loss of a sibling. Everyone grieves differently. you have grief, anger,denial, bargaining, than acceptance. Sometimes you'll go through them and back through it. When my oldest brother came to live with me he came with cancer than hospice came in (they became my angels).They gave me a booklet called, "Gone from my sight" That booklet helped me so many ways. You can call your local hospice and ask them about it. There are actually 5 booklets, (1) Gone from my sight,(2) The Eleventh hour,(3) How do I know you (dementia),(4) A time to live,(5) My friend, I care. #1 is the dying experience,#2 hours to minutes before death,#3end of life with dementia,#4 living with life threatening illness,#5 the grief experience. A nurse in Fla. worked for hospice with permission from families she began recording @ seeing what a person goes through before death. From there , last 2 months to the last breath. You will get comfort understanding more, it will give your children an understanding, and in the end you @ your kids will have that family bond. They need to realize death is apart of life There are free groups @ counsling get on line type in grief and a world of knowledge will come through.