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I go through periods of complete apathy and emotional numbness. When this happens, I feel indifferent to everything and my energy / motivation is gone. In order to feel alive again, I used to resort to cutting. In all honesty, I miss it terribly, but giving into my urges would also invite many things into my life that I don't want to be there.
So, what I'm wondering is... how do I feel alive again?
I'm still searching for the answer to numbness, I tend to find being in company I'm happy and comfortable in helps, having time to feel secure to get a good refreshing sleep, so I can wake and feel energised, and to have a happy and healthy goal to focus on, with someone who is supportive and proud of the achievements I make, and who will help me with achieving my goals.
There is also things like going on a long drive with someone I trust, who helps me at least feel a whole person, get away from the everyday, and the situations that are current, go for ice-cream, go for acupuncture, or go to somewhere that has nothing but good memories, it makes me feel alive to go to the park, miles away from home, to be able to run through the park, where nobody knows me :)
I think it is different for all of us.
For me, when I have periods like that, I find something that used to bring me joy when I was younger. It could just be reading a favourite book, or just thinking about it.
It could be going out for a walk and taking in nature.
What brings you joy?
@A MyDepressionTeam Member I am on a low dose of medication, but I don't think it has anything to do with it because the numbness has happened both on and off of it. Music does help, and the right song can make me feel something. Thanks for the kind words. :)
When I feel numb, and it happens at times, I take time out and just listen to my favourite instrumental music. I know that may sound basic, but it's the only thing that sometimes gives me the feels... you know, it gives me goosebumps and that lets me know that I am okay. Movie soundtracks are great for that... orchestral scores that build suspense and emotion. Give it a try. It might help?
Stay strong, lovely. Those feelings of numbness, you haven't said if you're on medication. I know that some meds can have that as a side effect. If you're feeling this all the time and you're on meds, perhaps a discussion with your doctor and a medication review may be in order?
@A MyDepressionTeam Member - I can totally relate. I get periods of numbness even though I am medicated. I think for me, it comes after struggling with a lot of things and I get depressed and it's like the next stage down for me . It's usually a warning sign that I need to take stock of where I am at and what I can do to turn things around. Just so hard some times, which is why I like the music.
Glad that music helps you.
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