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Real members of MyDepressionTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

How do you deal with negative feelings toward another person without actually acting on them? Do you have any tricks or tips?

A MyDepressionTeam Member asked a question 💭
Alaska

I'm trying to deal with anger or I guess a bit of jealousy toward my brother in law who is robbing me of time with my husband. I'm trying to deal with my feelings in a mature way but it's very hard. I try to think of the best way to talk to my husband about it too. I'm close though, to losing control and yelling at everyone or to leaving. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

July 25
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Answer Summary

Members rallied around a post about managing jealousy and anger toward a brother-in-law who was taking up too much of a husband's time,... Read more

Members rallied around a post about managing jealousy and anger toward a brother-in-law who was taking up too much of a husband's time, offering both emotional support and practical communication strategies. Several members suggested writing a heartfelt letter, speaking calmly but directly with a husband, and framing concerns positively by acknowledging the friendship while asking for dedicated couple time. A recurring theme was the importance of staying calm and not 'showing your ass,' along with personal stories of feeling overlooked that reminded the original poster she was not alone.

MyDepressionTeam

It's really admirable that you're trying to handle this thoughtfully rather than just reacting. That self-awareness takes real strength, especially when depression can make emotions feel so much more intense and harder to manage.

Here are some strategies that may help:

- Pause before reacting — When the anger or jealousy Show Full Answer

It's really admirable that you're trying to handle this thoughtfully rather than just reacting. That self-awareness takes real strength, especially when depression can make emotions feel so much more intense and harder to manage.

Here are some strategies that may help:

- Pause before reacting — When the anger or jealousy surges, give yourself permission to step away from the situation, even briefly. A short walk or some deep breathing can create enough space to avoid saying something you might regret.
- Journal your feelings — Writing down what you're feeling, without filtering it, can release tension and help you process emotions privately and safely before bringing them to your husband.
- Practice mindfulness — Simple breathing exercises or even a few minutes of quiet meditation can help you stay grounded when emotions feel overwhelming.
- Be gentle with yourself — Feeling angry or jealous doesn't make you a bad person. Acknowledge the feeling without judging yourself for having it. When it comes to talking to your husband, timing and tone matter a lot. Choose a calm moment, use "I feel" statements rather than accusations, and focus on what you need — more quality time together — rather than framing it as an attack on his brother.

As one MyDepressionTeam member wisely put it, choosing to protect your own peace is something that takes time to learn, but it is absolutely possible. You're already on the right path by seeking healthier ways to cope. 💙

July 25
A MyDepressionTeam Member

So cute, @A MyDepressionTeam Member!

July 30
A MyDepressionTeam Member

I think the best way is to have a conversation with your husband and say you appreciate their friendship but you feel left out and would like to spend some time with your husband doing things you both enjoy together. I find if you need to have a negative conversation bring something positive into it so for example "Joe I appreciate your friendship with Jack but I would like us to do something together could we go to a restaurant or do something that we can do together as I feel like I don't get to enjoy doing things together like we used to"

July 27
A MyDepressionTeam Member

Hi DonnaJean, maybe try telling your husband that you really miss him since he started spending a lot of time with his brother . . Peace and love . . Sam . .

July 26

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