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Members opened up about the emotional weight of Father's Day when childhood home life was painful, with many sharing experiences of trauma,... Read more
@A MyDepressionTeam Member I know what you mean about the constant thoughts/inner monologue of negative thoughts. I can still hear my dad's voice in my head and dream in horrible movies. Several years ago I had this one memory come up that I had forgotten for a while. It was so vivid and I froze and couldn't move. I was sitting at a light. It turned green and people were honking at me. Later I ended up losing my job. I saw a guy that did EMDR therapy. It helped me with some specific memories so they didn't keep coming up all the time but he was out of network and each time I went I had to pay over $100 out of pocket so I couldn't keep going. I kept so much of it inside and didn't tell anyone. That just eats you from the inside out. I couldn't tell my husband because then he wouldn't want my family anywhere near us again and who knows what else he would do. He's someone who wants to fix things but this was not really fixable. I never did tell him because I feel like that's just passing on the trauma. He knows only the bare bones and that I needed to get away from them. He protected me physically but he can't help me on the mental front. I'm going to therapy now and he's being supportive about that and doesn't complain about the bills. Talking it all out with someone I felt comfortable with and who I know can't tell my business to anyone else really helped. Just getting it out and then this person tells me she believes me. She told me it wasn't my fault because I was just a child. I couldn't control the situation and I had no way out. I always thought I was overreacting, being too sensitive like they always told me but she said that wasn't true. She even got tears in her eyes. I've come a long way, gaining ground a little at a time with a lot of work on my part. I keep trying and it's really hard. When I hear my dad's voice in my head now (or whoever it is) I say no, that's not true. I just have to think about what is really true. I am not -- whatever they always said. I don't want to say it here because it's not true. Just shout it out. It's not true. You are valuable and it's not your fault. We are valuable and it is not our fault.
Yes, definitely. Not all dads were good.
First of all, it's okay to not be okay today. Father's Day can bring up a lot of complicated emotions, and trying to push those feelings down can actually make things harder in the long run.
Many MyDepressionTeam members have shared that pretending to be fine — putting on that "fake smile" — is exhausting, and that it's so Show Full Answer
@A MyDepressionTeam Member, Gayle, VA-related reply; I don't think it would be proper of me to ask if you were receiving VA Disability Compensation Benefits at all, but, if you're seeing the VA Behavioral Health folks, and if it can be traced back to your service history, you should apply (if you haven't already). And, I just found this out last December from a fellow Disabled Veteran that I should apply for TDIU (Total Disability Individual Unemployability); you may have to be assessed by a third-party doctor who reports to the VA, but if you have recorded treatments, that could be in your favor.
I am now considered 100% Totally Disabled and Unemployable, which honestly, being retired, isn't all that bad a thing...
And Kali speaks the truth in volumes, you are worth every damn second of time you are fighting for your Self and still making it this far and responding so well to others who may be in need.
Doug, I don’t know what to say about your last post. I’m sorry things turned out that way. I can offer hugs whenever you want them! 🫂
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