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How can you get your spouse to understand that you don’t mean to be angry. That it is part of the illness.

A MyDepressionTeam Member asked a question 💭
Annandale, VA
January 6
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A MyDepressionTeam Member

I am not really sure but last weekend I very irritable and angry at my husband and other things. It is weird how your emotional state can change in an instance

January 6
A MyDepressionTeam Member

Hi JaneKurtz
I have an idea you could try.
My husband & I used to try and have logical discussions !!! ... but NOT in the moments when we (you're) were both tired or frustrated.
The next time you are both in a good place - go for a drive together .. stop and get take out coffee or an ice cream cone.
Then .. sit in the car and "you" bring up something that happened recently that went WELL !!!
.. for example .. you were so happy with something you both decided to buy online !
OR .. you loved that restaurant .. you shared a meal at !!!

Then bring up .. that you occasionally get "overwhelmed" .. ask
"Do you know what I am talking about ?"
.. CONTINUE.. "We both can be in a "mood" ... and we speak sharply and go to separate corners."
JANE !!! .. I think you can take it from there ...
GET THE IDEA ?
Hope this gives you some info .. that just might get him thinking !!!

Hugs, Sandra

March 9
MyDepressionTeam

How can you help your spouse understand that anger is part of depression, not intentional?

Open communication is key. Having an honest conversation when you're both calm can help your spouse understand that anger can be a symptom of depression, not a reflection of your feelings toward them. Explain that depression can make Show Full Answer

How can you help your spouse understand that anger is part of depression, not intentional?

Open communication is key. Having an honest conversation when you're both calm can help your spouse understand that anger can be a symptom of depression, not a reflection of your feelings toward them. Explain that depression can make you feel irritable and frustrated, even when you don't want to be.

Consider these approaches:

* Share information about depression symptoms with your spouse so they understand anger can be part of the condition
* Prepare them to recognize when you're struggling, so they can better support you during difficult moments
* Let them know what helps you when anger surfaces - whether that's space, patience, or gentle support

A MyDepressionTeam member shared that telling trusted people about their illness helped, noting that if people truly care, hearing about your condition won't bother them because they know an illness doesn't define who you are. Couples counseling can be especially helpful. A professional therapist can help you both maintain open communication and work through any hurt or confusion that develops. They can also help you set boundaries and create a plan for managing difficult moments together.

Remember to practice self-compassion too. Journaling can provide a safe outlet for your feelings, and mindfulness strategies like breathing exercises can help you stay calm when anger surfaces. Being kind to yourself during these moments matters just as much as helping your spouse understand.

January 6

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