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I love that my body is very soft. SELF LOVE IS VERY IMPORTANT.
@A MyDepressionTeam Member, I am in the basement/family room on the actual computer, don't have my phone, so I can't take a picture of the sticker I have on my stash box that plainly says, "Destroy Polite Society." I wish there was a way to make all the judgmental a**hats disappear, but they're sadly everywhere you turn anymore, even right here on MDT. Basically, if you can teach yourself to just not give a good damn not to care what "society" says, the freedom you'll feel will be immense. I'm not 100% there myself, still got a ways to go, but at the point I am in my recovery/healing, I don't care about societal norms; *I* decide what I feel is "normal" for my daily existence. You're here to please no one on this green Earth except *YOU*... It sure takes some doing but that mantra helped me. Believe me, Isamu-sama, if I think *I'm* worth fighting for my existence for, then dammit, so is every individual on this planet. You have kept this up so long and you still forge ahead with determination, resolve and as positive a spirit as you can manage in your situation. I find that inner strength very honorable as I try to find the lower rungs of that ladder of worthiness and claw my way up into The Light; your struggles for so long positively dwarf mine in comparison and I look at what I submit daily and I feel like some petty whiner. But I know I'm not, that I am worth it and I will not give up my resolve to be the best me I can manage.
Ain't exactly a check for a million bucks, but with my words, I hope you feel my hug from here and wish you the peace you desperately need and deserve, good sir.
Take care!
@A MyDepressionTeam Member, you and I look to be the same age/generation, as a recovering Catholic raised in an Irish/German/Italian household in the 1960s, none of the three of us were ever given praise or compliments. In school and home it was beratement, scolding, shaming and guilt-tripping, aside from the bullying at school. There was no safe place and the wounds have recently reopened with all the stress with unemployment, SSDI and VA Disability and crap from my delusional sister, leaving me an occasional emotional train wreck.
I wish I could give you some words of comfort. I'm not going to bullsh*t you by saying it's going to be alright, it's only temporary, it's part of some higher power's plan; I've heard that my entire life and it's pandering garbage meant to be a band-aid for something that's been tearing me apart from the inside for decades.
I can only hope that, just for today, that you're going to be alright and wish you a peaceful day.
Take care, Sam, peace and hugs!
Hi, well, it's all part of how we may feel, generally about ourselves, I believe, at least in the case of moi yo tomodachi, mi amigas y amigos, y'all!! . . It was literally beaten into me by my Dad for a solid 8 yrs. a my life when I was a kid, and then verbally reinforced in the family dynamics of us all there, that the three oldest boys in the family were basically no good , and that we were also dumb and unattractive, for example!! . . That sort a upbringing has been a devastatin' legacy and stigma for my two older brothers and myself to live and fight with and against durin' not only our respective childhoods, but also durin' our adulthoods yo!! . . Just sayin', this stuff is REAL and it dudn't just go away over time . . My best peace, love, and good vibes a y'all, each and every one a yas . .
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