I have been suicidal since I was twelve, and something I've realized is that even when I'm having the thoughts, I don't really want to die. I just want to be free and it seems like the only way. The main reason I haven't done it is because I don't want to make anyone else sad, or make them find me. I know it's not super helpful but you're not alone. And sometimes thinking of other ways to feel free helps.

Life is precious and not to be taken lightly. I hope you feel better soon. And I've been where you are with two attempts

Grace! What!?! You're allowed to rest! 💝

I stood by the water a couple of days ago, and realized that I didn't want to, that I would get wet, and be unhappy. It has snowed since then and I'd have to go through it to get to the water. I am not motivated to put boots on. If I don't really want to die, why don't I get up and do something constructive instead of lie here?