Try 'the shack'. The authors' experiences in his own life are perhaps equivalent to yours, but the book is fictional, but algorithm to his life

Will look into the book. I'm searching for a therapist, but have to wait until after the holidays so therapists take new clients again.

You need therapy and learn ways to cope with your PTSD. It’s not easy but you have to do. My ex husband abused me very badly. It was suggested by a therapist to read “Mourning Song” by Joyce Landoff. It’s the green book online. It’s how to deal with grief and letting go of your problems. It helped me tremendously.

I have a Psychiatrist now, thank goodness from my inpatient stay. I will let him know.

Do u want to talk.we r here