I hope you can get some rest soon.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member

Continued...

Chronic illness is a vicious cycle.
So, today I opted to stay in bed and rest as long as I need to. I'm interacting with others on MyHealthTeams, socials, texts and getting some pre-vacation relaxation before we leave with the kids for our first family vacay on Monday. Why not stay in bed and be comfy when I'd probably fall asleep in the living room always? I apologize for my sarcasm. It's how I deal with my overworked brain and broken body.
I wanted to ask, have you discussed your sleep related anxiety problems with your psychiatrist or primary doctor?
Sounds like you might have some insomnia causing your anxiety or anxiety causing your insomnia.
Maybe ask for a referral to a sleep specialist that has experience with patients with anxiety?
They would be able to determine if you have clinical insomnia or any other sleep disorder or if you're issues sleeping are solely due to your anxiety. Either way, someone should be able to prescribe you something to help you feel less anxious and get to sleep.
Now this may sound foolish and may not work for you but something else I'd recommend because I've tried it myself is to make sure you AND your room are ready for you to sleep. Trying to sleep with the TV off in a dark, cool, quiet room may help your mind relax. Also maybe try journaling before bed. Put your phone and electronics away then sit and try to write out anything and everything you're feeling and what you think may be making you anxious at the time. Journaling might help you get what's weighing on you out on paper so when you lay down your thoughts aren't running wild. It may also help you find any pattern in your anxiety triggers around bed time. I know that some people's anxiety can be triggered by the quiet too and that everything isn't for everyone I just wanted to try to help.
I'm sorry that my response ran long. It is honestly harder for me to get all that in fewer words.
I sincerely hope you and your support system can help you find a way to manage your anxiety and get the rest you need.
🤟

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A MyDepre...

@A MyDepressionTeam Member
Hey there! You're not foolish at all. Anxiety and depression can most certainly effect our ability to fall and stay asleep. If our mind can't quiet down then we can't truly rest our minds. This effects us and compounds because if we're not rested then our mental and psychological symptoms amplify.
I haven't had the same experience as you with the anxiety attacks when trying to sleep but I have had something similar.
I have been given the gift; and I say that sarcastically, the gift of narcolepsy to go along with my PTSD and major depression [and more...] So, with narcolepsy I feel like I am ALWAYS fighting to stay awake no matter how much sleep I get. [Thanks brain for not being able to manage my sleep-wake cycles. You literally had 1 job. I take that back, you have like a ton of jobs. I guess I forgive you for making me feel like a permanently exhausted, quite forgetful zombie. End rant to brain.] Back to it, my narcolepsy makes me have a hard time falling and staying asleep so I don't go through the sleep cycles correctly and end up with a lovely variety of symptoms such as excessive daytime sleepiness, severe brain fog, sleep attacks, sleep paralysis and hallucinations. So what's not to be anxious about? At any point I can just fall asleep no matter what I'm doing or where I am (sleep attacks), I feel like I'm being suffocated and can't move or breathe until I snap out of it when either falling asleep or waking up (sleep paralysis), or I can see stuff that's not there and freak out about that (hallucinations). The sleep paralysis is what I feel similar to your anxiety attacks when I you are going to bed. The difference is my anxiety is triggered when I have a sleep paralysis event. It is scary as hell and something that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I do have the occasional night where I cannot sleep because there's so much going on in my mind. My most recent was actually Sunday night. I was awake until almost 7AM then finally crashed and had to force myself to wake back up and get ready by 9:30 when my sister was coming to pick me up for my first visit with my new therapist. So, that first visit was great but also I felt like I was running on fumes and babbling due to lack of sleep.
My depression is also really impacted by my narcolepsy because its hard to live your best life when you're either falling asleep when you're supposed to be awake or can't sleep when you're supposed to be.

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A MyDepre...

I can relate, can't sleep now, it's 2":14 am