I work, and i havent quiet figured out handling the depresion, I used to see a big black hole that was consuming me when i had an episode. My doctor helped me imagine pulling that blackness into a ball and seeing that it doesnt have to control it i can hold it and it cant consume me if i dont let, it is a part of me and its ok to hold it sometimes. That has really helped me, not go to far. In the past when i allowed that to consume me i tried to kill myslef. Now i make an appointment to see my doctor!

I cannot work at the moment, it's a stress I am still working on overcoming

I went to school (30 years ago) for food service and culinary arts. I am now thinking of becoming a medical sterile technician. It is only depending on the class you take anywhere from a month to 3 month course with another 3 months of on hand internship. I am already working 2 jobs, I live by myself, so I have all the cooking, cleaning, yard work maitenence. I have HIV on top of all that, so fatigue is another big issue. Not sure if I can swing it anymore.

It was very diffucult. I had an extremely demanding and emotionally draining job. I was in graduate school with an infant who was sickly. My husband at tge time thouggt ut would be great to build a house which left me with little to no support. I really got by on sarcasm and avoiding people that made me angry and eating unhealthy food. It also helped that i had deadlines to meet. It is like being in a routine and sticking to that routine. Bring your full awareness into what it is you desire by gaining an education. Second guve yourself enough time and space from studying to take care of you. Third breathe. Fourth meditate. Fifth c's get degrees and in sone cases d's. Average people run the world. When you are in tune with what you have to do to obtain what you want you will live in the now and use what you have to push forward. It ain't easy but is it worth it? Btw what is your education in?