It seems that there are days when I'm doing great. Then out of nowhere something will trigger me and I'll fall into this pattern of self doubt and loathing and push my finace away. I hate seeing what it does to her.. how can I stop the feeling in their tracks?
The key is to stop these thoughts before they start. When your demons start chattering and making you doubt yourself, you must consciously force yourself to think positive things. Out-talk them. Repeat over and over again that everything is going to be okay. It can be tough to focus on this, so repetition is important. You must tell yourself positive things. Even if they feel like total lies, if you pretend like it's the truth and like everything is going to be alright, more often than not it will be. It definitely takes some practice but positive thoughts lead to positive feelings.
I can think of a few ideas. Many people dont realize that magic is just a word. The difference between science and magic is that magic isnt fully understood, as soon as its understood, its called science. There are a number of books you can read to understand a logical, science based explaination of how some magic works. Another thing you can do is to begin a process of self improvement. Stop by a book store and see if anything stands out at you. Zero in on the authors who you have the most in common with. It may take you a while, but you'll eventually find one that's just like you and who has great advice.
Actually it happens to me alot.. That's where I was told to try and distract myself ( cause I fight with my inner demons about wanting to die)i asked my professionals and they say when one distraction doesn't work try something else and when all else fails here in Calgary we have a phone line called the distress Centre there is even an online version to help me when my inner demons get too bad