Have you heard of Borderline Personality Disorder? Google it and see if it sounds more like the behaviours your mum displays. This disorder often causes great frustration and hurt to those around them and can mimic bipolar disorder. All of the symptoms you mention, together could be BPD rather than bipolar. They key difference is whether your mum has clear cycles of severe depression then mania, or as is the case with BPD the behaviour is all the time and doesn't have clear cycles. In both cases people are often reluctant to accept the have a problem but it is important for you and her family to understand whats going on so 1: You can support her 2: you can get support

I can relate to everything you have just said there.. I keep my distance from my mother too much hard work. Never cares for anyone it herself .. best of luck hun

Im sorry you feel that having borderline personality, you dont fit in a catagory. But having depression means you will always belong here. You will always fit on my depression team. I hope you continue. Im sure you have much to contribute.... especially to all those you meet here who BPD diagnosis

It's good to get it off your chest and here is the place to do it. I have mental illness and I know I'm not easy to live with. We tend to take even small things to the extreme most negative realms when we are anxious and/or depressed. Unfortunately for you your mother seems to verbalise and act out on these thoughts. It must be exhausting for you. Hugs your way!!!

Hi Mx, sadly many go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. While bipolar and BPD have many similar features, the treatments are quite different. BPD does not respond as well to antidepressants however does respond very well to Dialetical Behavioural Therapy, EMDT and schema therapy whereas bipolar responds very well to mood stabilizers like lithium or epilim, antidepressants and antipsychotics.
There is also much stigma attached to BPD and often families can believe the negative and damaging behaviours can be controlled.