I worked all the way through my depression in my twenties and thirties and early forties. I could cry all day before I went to work but when I put on my lab coat I became 'Lisa, the pharmacist' and was able to be professional and capable and good at my job. It wasn't until all those stressful things happened (the firebombing of my pharmacy, the robbery at gunpoint there, etc) and the morphing of my Bipolar II Disorder into rapid cycling Bipolar I Disorder that things unravelled and I was no longer as good at my job. Now much better, working well, and back to being a good pharmacist.

I have been...sort of...the 2 before the last one were due to e onomic downturns. The last one was be side of severe stress brought on by issues with my employer. It ended up with my being taken to the hospital because I raged out, basically. I wanted to destroy something, anything. Went on stress leave for a bit, then quit and qent back driving truck. Been 4 montjs and doing great...so far.

you will always have the bad man on your shoulders telling you, negative things, unless you start treating yourself better, pamper yourself. look in the mirror and say Im really a nice person, I haven't killed anyone today so, that's a bonus. Is there anything your good at? become your own mother and re-parent yourself. Get your hair done, and get your nails done. Treat yourself well. Keep saying to yourself, because I matter! buy some self help books on improving your self esteem.

I'm very ashamed to say that I can't ! As much as I want to!

I want to study too! Geography, languages, cultures! Social work, I have this stupid bug in me that I wish would go away, Paramedical science!

People matter! Those girls & guys really inspire me!

I want to give back to humanity!

I don't have a education!

I want to be apart of the service just not the patient!

I don't believe it myself, I never have!

How do I? Anyone got any thoughts on believing in my self?

i do till i dont if that makes sense