Depression lies to us. Talks negative about everything about life and about yourself. I would ask my closest friends if I am what depression is telling me. I sometimes couldn't understand why people liked me. Laughed at my jokes. I couldnt see myself the way others did.

Because the depression makes us see ourselves in a different light. I'm feeling the exact same way at the moment.

Depression does that. I had a lot of self-hatred when I was in my twenties and thirties.

You are a good person for just thinking that? At least you care
Self doubt
It's one of symptoms of depression and anxiety ,or that what I had been told

I doubt myself all the time.
My physcholigist and team keep telling me to be nice myself.
But it's a lot harder than said.
I have always douthed myself.
That's why it was easier to be the clown.