Well it sounds as if your partner and her family are like your family-uncaring about your feelings. This is damaging to you (to everyone) and is what accounts for my low self esteem and depression. I have to keep a lot distance from my mother and siblings. Once a past hurt is healing, if I stay away from their “mean girls club” I feel a lot better (just excluded!)

Criticise most of the time.

good idea but this family do not do compromise neither does my partner as long as they are getting their own way then they dont care about others. i'm the type of person who can compromise i'll say ok meet me halfway on this type of thing. but when i do compromise its a case of give my partner a inch and she takes a yard. like when she was going on day trips every year to visit her family on their annual holiday,its about a hour from us. first it was one or two days then every year it got more. then she wanted to stay overnight ok i said then the next year this one night went to two nights. shame she dont put so much enthusiasm in when we go on holiday ,she never wants to join in things with me. a few years ago she wouldnt even come with me to take our dogs for walks just sat in our tent listening to her music. but with her family shes joining in with table tennis etc and it kinda hurts that basically on our holiday she just sits there not wanting to do anything.

Sorry them

Maybe you should invite her family around for tea or coffee, tell me its time for a family talk, each one has a turn to speak and all listen then discuss what all was said, get an outsider to be there also to see and hear what is said and who is prepared to try and compromise. Hope this helps.