I'm no expert and I have few answers, but I've been where you are and have come through the storm each time. I frankly don't even really know how - except that the thought of hurting my family was ultimately enough of a deterrent. I mean, I guess. I don't much like the imagery, but often those with mental illness are thought of by others in the same boat as warriors. You've made it this far, with more bravery than most any neurotypical person will ever know, and you are indeed a warrior. That's probably not useful, so beyond that I'd tell you to look for and grab hold of anything - anything - that gives you peace and happiness, and don't let go.

Hi, I don't know if you ever get to read this. But I had a sudden onset of clinical depression , out of no where . I was a bubbly very happy person , in a few days I wanted to jump off the nerarest bridge. Darling . It is chemical , you will never blame a cancer patient for receiving chemotherapy . My advise is please be open with your suicidality to your closed ones. It can be hard but my boyfriend stayed with me in a very messy and confined university flat so that I don't make a mistake. Do whatever you can to make yourself safe . Don't look at this as The end . It's just an episode , and this episode sucks but you never know how good the next one will be. I remember the warm air of sun on my face as I left the psychiatric hospital feeling better, keep strong.

How could the hospital refuse to find a solution for uou? Hang in there; keep posting people are reading

Angel I have been at suicides doorstep, I know what a dark bleed place it is, not even thoughts of my family could stop me, i truly believed they would all be better off without me. I took the overdose twice and got caught. The secondvtine when I woke up in hospital I felt so defeated realising I had lost once again. That was how I felt. I changed my doctors and I am in a much better space. Regular counselling has been life changing for me. I still have bad days or spells like right now. I am really struggling and wondering what's the point. I know my phycologist is amazing at what she does and we will figure it out next week when I seen her. Don't give up, the next doctor you see could very well be the right one. Hugs sweetie

Hand I feel so much like this sometimes. But I also believe in what Megara has said. I think of my daughter whose 23 and my husband, who lost both his parents within months of eachother and know it would change their lives. Be strong. Xx