I’m like you my depression when it comes back which is so often and lasts a very long time also goes through the roof!
I have Bipolar Depression and when the depression lifts I honestly feel good for such a short period of time it makes living so hard this way.

I been living with depression as far back as I can remember and I learned my triggers and how to handle my depression. Everyone is different and we all deal with life differently. I stay on my meds religiously. I keep stress as low as possible and I do my best to avoid negative vibes. In my situation it's not easy because a relative lives with me and his depression really gets bad. I try to find something positive every day regardless of how small it may be. There are days where I just don't want to get out if bed but I make myself get up and take my meds make a cup of coffee take care if my cat. That's part if what I do.

I am sorry you are going through this! It is truly awful. I suffer from treatment resistant MDD. I am in therapy, I take a supplement called Levium, and try to do a lot of exercise or yoga to keep the depression quiet. I also try to stay as present as possible, get outside as much as I can and do things I enjoy like artwork, crafts, puzzles, etc. It is not easy to keep motivated on the really hard days but if I force myself to do these things, it takes the edge off. Best wishes!