Even though I'm dealing with all this crap, I will not say the thought crosses my mind. It does every single day. It is an not only once a day thought. It is every day.
But it is something I will not do. Do I want to yes. But the way I see it I'm in hell right now. I have no desire to spend eternity there.
Things are very overwhelming and unbelievable devastating. Between my mental state and my continuing health issues,
it's much more then I would like to be going through. But I am. But one day they will pass and I will remember I am stronger than I thought I was.
One day at a time,

Our own minds can be a dangerous place to be stuck in. At least it is for me. Do you have a therapist?

I really would like things to get better. This has been a long stretch I have experienced in awhile. I'm almost certain it is do to finding out my surgeon was a jerk, and my eye surgeon was great, but the outcome was not what it should have been. Which means having it done again and not having the site in my right eye for a longer period of time and my recovery at home will be much harder. Plus, we rescued a blind senior ShihTzu that someone dumped 51/2 years ago. She died on the 12th a few days after my bday. And pain that never seems to go away. It is all combined and it is tiring. At some point, I am hoping that the light of my tunnel light bulb is changed soon. It seems the longer it continues, just sucks the life right out of me. I miss being able to drive too! I think when I can drive again it will help alot. There is nothing worse for me than to have to depend on everyone for everything. That has been the hardest for me. It will improve. Thanks for your concern. I do appreciate it very much.

The seasons are making another shift. Try to look at the small changes in your area. Try to use more positive words. Using can’t makes me nervous for you. Not able to at this time. Do not give up. You will have so much strength to share when you get a hold of this. 🙏🍀👏🏻🍀😎stay strong.🌺🇨🇦

Dderrington,
Thank you for checking on me. But nothing has changed. And I am just here.