Feeling Lost...need Support Please?

Any people here have kids in your life that love you so much and they want you around so much. I love my nephew even when it's so hard to take care of him sometimes. He loves me but I don't deserve it. He is the one o love the most but I'm going to be another person ro let him down. I don't want to do that. I kind of feel like I'm poison. I want to feel better but I never do.im starting to really feel j deserve to feel so miserable. 22yrs and it's just getting worse