I read your question, and thought I had typed it myself. I know exactly when my anxiety/perfectionist/too scared to do anything so I just don't do all things issue started. I remember being 9 years old, and dad was in the Philippines. I wrote him a letter saying I was learning to play flute, and had been signed up for tap lessons. Mom sent Dad a cassette of me playing the flute. Dad wrote back and said, "I hope your tap classes are going better than your flute classes."

What kind of cruel thing is that to say to a 9 year old... especially one's own daughter! I spent most of my young life trying to win praise from this man. He spent most of my youth trying to use reverse psychology. It wasn't until I was 19 that I stopped trying to impress him. I stopped trying to do much of anything. I washed out of teaching; washed out of law; washed out of alarm technology. The only thing I'm still trying (though not as seriously as I want to, for fear of rejection) is writing.

Is it depression? Yes. Is it anxiety? Yes - especially when it gives you symptoms like upset or nervous stomach, diarrhea, fainting spells, stage fright (I would get physically, violently ill whenever I would have to do an oral report in high school).

I hope this helps others realize that we do put a lot of pressure on ourselves, but sometimes, there is the one spark that causes the downward spiral.

Original post and you seem like a very intelligent man with feelings and there's nothing wrong with that! Remember we can't control other people's behavior actions or emotions or anything but we can control our cars and that puts you in the part of the solution equation rather than part of the problem I don't work there so I don't know what is going on. I'll put you in my prayers and you have a good evening.

I wonder if Acupuncture would help?? Anybody try it for depression?

I have decided to see a hypnotherapist now as I'm hoping its the only cure I have now to try I have been on medication and it did not work I have seen physcharitrist and psychologist and that has not helped so my last chance is to try hypnotherapy but I must say my neurologist has helped me tremendously guess its been my dteremination to get my brain waves to be normal but its taken many years so now I've found a book called you can heal your life by Louise hay try it out just a suggestion .

Are you in my head? LOL. There really isn’t a PTSD craze. It’s being recognized more and more and treatments are better because of it. If you do have some PTSD it’s ok. It’s anxiety one bizerk (My definition). I’m a perfectiont too. The way you describe it is perfect.