Again, just like you, I have done exactly the same. I have changed from someone who worked all the hours god gave me, all I did was be a mother, work nights regularly and look after my horse , in my time off I went through a party hard and laugh loads. I was where I wanted to be. Now I dont leave the house unless absolutely necessary, have no friends locally and I have turned into a totally different person who I hate immensly.
If I could give anyone advice it would be to work hard at being in social situations because since 2001 I have lost so much and I am actually a very lonely person. Its a living hell most of the time.
Its an easy statement to make but once you get trapped in your own company it brings on many other issues. I have no trust in anyone even to the point of my own family. I hate myself, I dont trust my own capabilities and every time I attempt to do anything constructive I know beyond any doubt that I will mess up.
I know that this is my life now, the very idea of ever entering into any kind of relationship is never going to happen. I wouldnt have the confidence to meet anyone and after being alone for so long the thought of sharing my little "prison" with someone scares me shitless.
I hate my life but its all I will ever have.
I got up this mornng and its a tearful day, but thats about normal.
I hope you have a good day today. take care of yourself.x

@A MyDepressionTeam Member: Can't get your Dr. to let you try it yet. It helps the symptoms of my depression that nothing else seems to touch. My psychiatrist knows I 've been on every antidepressant out there, plus my therapist also felt I had symptoms of ADD.which helped. I am a whole different person without it. Couldn't care less about anything, isolate myself, non productive. & very negative self talk. Keep asking, make them "hear" what your trying to tell them. You feel you deserve a chance for some relief!!! Ask again, and tell them you feel you have more to offer than what you are like now. Ask them to "work with you " on this & he can see for himself (Dr.) in 1 month a positive, notable difference in you & your mood or if not..he can at least say he tried for you. What person doesn't want to feel as good as he can with prescribed drugs & a willing Dr. who wants their patient to function at their highest potential!!!!! Awesomeness.

Mentioned Users

A MyDepre...

You are quite right @A MyDepressionTeam Member we do indeed have to fight and the reality is that if we don't fight we are giving in to the black dog called depression and the one thing we cannot do in any way shape or form is let it win. @A MyDepressionTeam Member keep up the good fight and just remember that we in this community of MDT are here to help each other.

Mentioned Users

A MyDepre...

A MyDepre...

Yes we do have to fight Annie, it’s not fair but what other option is there. So many people ridicule us for the invisible illness this group all suffer we can support each other in the belief that it’s real and serious. We fight and we speak to our friends to encourage them to also fight.
We have one thing that is worth fighting for Annie, we can help others who have maybe only recently discovered they have a mental health illness.
Proving to others that every episode of darkness is followed at some point by the way out and the light that helps us enjoy the good days
Chin up my friend, I’ve not been a very good friend lately with a heavy heart that hasn’t been good with communicating but I read your message and I’m reaching out to you in the hope I can make a tiny positive mark in your life.
Love and best wishes Annie.🌹❤️xx

@Squibb: Having written on this topic previously on my shared posts, I never said Aderrall was a Treatment for Depression. Perhaps you didn't read that one. Having been on every antidepressant, ECT treatments, I experienced some relief but not enough to function as I had been doing prior to my diagnosis. Experience & expertise,(when blessed with having a mature, caring, knowledgeable pschiatrist) who is willing to work with their patients to get them to a satisfactory & more productive lifestyle in which they can again feel comfortable to live their future life, with anticipation feelings of hope, joy, & abundance. Good luck to you on your journey!