We have been dating for 8 months, well going on 8 months next week Monday
He's told me that he has anxiety and I told him that it doesn't effect the way I see him. The main reason I am a bit unsure how to approach the situation is because of my previous relationship. I was made to feel like a failure and to be extremely weak, and his words felt like they ripped straight through me
I don't take medication due to the fact that it makes me feel worse and causes my eczema to flare up.
I haven't… read more
8 months that's wonderful, so I would tell him as soon as possible. Don't let what people told you in the past continue to hurt you. If he is truly the one for you he would be there for you, and not judge you. Wishing you all the best. Hugs
You're very welcome Tate. I hope it goes well. Xx
My husband and I both suffer with mental illness (he had depression and I have bipolar type 2). Knowing what we each go through helps us to understand the other's pain, and although I would never wish for anyone to have depression, in a way I'm glad that my husband does because it means he understands in a way that someone who has never experienced it wouldn't be able to. You may find, therefore, that your boyfriend feels relief that you too suffer from anxiety, and he is more likely to be understanding of your depression too. I understand how you feel as I've had people react badly in the past, and it does make you feel anxious about telling people in the future, but I've come to the conclusion that you can't lose by telling the truth. The reason you can't lose is that if they are understanding then yay! win. If, however, they react badly and are unpleasant about it or make you feel ashamed, then, although that's painful, it's allowed you to see that this is a person who lacks empathy and compassion, and you wouldn't want to be with that kind of person, so it's given you a lucky escape. Still a win (though I appreciate it would be a pyrrhic victory). Ultimately, if you want to have a long term and serious relationship with this man then you are going to have to be honest with him, as it's going to come out at some point and surely it's better for that to happen in a calm way that you control, rather than it coming out while you are suffering a bad depressive episode or an anxiety attack. If he's the man you think he is then he'll be glad you told him. He will want to be there for you and, given his own struggles, it may bring you closer - it did for me and my husband.
if he has the same struggles he will understand. It may even bring you closer
Make sure he has some time to talk and try to explain what depression and anxiety does to you and how it makes you feel. Hopefully then he'll understand why act the way you do. Maybe also let him know what he does that bothers you.
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