I am compulsive with most things in my life, but after years of denial (despite warnings from my doctor) I came to terms with the fact that I had a certain behavioral addiction which had been my way of switching off from reality. Since facing my addiction and seeking help (there are groups and forums on the internet similar to this which have been a phenomenal help) I suddenly feel like I have woken up out of a coma and… read more
Whatever your compulsion / addiction is, Google it.. You'll be surprised how many people you'll find who are in the same boat. The first step is to acknowledge that there is something that is controlling you, and not you it. And don't be scared, it's actually quite liberating. :)
I have been compulsive all of my life but it really came to a head as an adult. I had to face and deal with my addiction,the lowest most hopeless feeling I have ever felt) or it can be handled vice versa. It's like what came before the chicken or the egg? I had and continue to really monitor myself so I don't become like that again and depression is a perfect entry into it, if I let it be.
You are right about the chicken or the egg. I found that the addiction and the depression just fed each other. Facing my addiction was the hardest thing I ever did, but now that I have been "clean" for 6 months or so my life has changed dramatically. For the first time in years I feel a semblance of control over my life.
The hardest part was admitting that the very thing that has been helping you get through the day is actually doing you more harm than good. And yes, you do need to monitor yourself as it is so easy and so tempting sometimes to just slip back into it.
Good luck and stay strong!