Don't feel that way. You have an illness just like any other. You wouldn't feel that way about someone who has cancer or diabetes. Be gentle with yourself and realize you are not your illness.

When I was off medication I felt that way. Now that I'm on medication I feel better about myself because I don't have as many episodes. Things are better now. I'm sorry you feel this way. If it's a family member maybe you can talk to them about it. If it's someone on the street don't worry about it. They don't matter. If it's a friend talk to them about it. Ask them if they see you any different because you are diagnosed with this. If they say no go with it. If they say yes. Have them explain. Family & friends are important in your life. They will be honest with you. Talk to them.

Freak out is my first, middle and last name!

Sometimes I feel people can see through me and see the mess I am. I don't know if they judge me at that point. I think they judge me once I start talking.

Yep. Super Self conscious.