I have had depression around the 2nd grade. The verbal bullying was too much at school, and when I would complain to my parents, they dismissed it. When I was in 5th grade, nobody in my class liked me, except for one girl. She admitted years later she befriended me out of pity. I had even complained to my parents about nobody liking me, dismissed just as easily. Mind you, I was born with respiratory problems which landed me in the hospital ALOT. I do recall having a psychologist/therapist sit and talk to me at the hospital. My mother wanted to sit in but was told no by this person. I don't know what happened after that, because my parents never explained to me what was going on. The first half of 6th grade, I was in class a total of about a month or so, combined. The other times I was in the hospital or resting at home.

So, I hid it as best I could. The 2nd half of 6th grade, I would come home from school, do homework, eat an early dinner, then retreat to my room around 6pm. By 7:30 I was asleep and would wake up around 4am. This way I didn't have to be confronted with questions about my sullen mood. This next "story" will forever be saved under "My Walk of Shame". I attended a private Christian school, so no parties, dancing, proms. So, a classmate set up a party at their house (under the admin's noses). Not having someone to dance with or to be with me, I retreated to one of the bedrooms, sat on the bed and just bawled my eyes out. A female classmate saw me in the room and asked what was wrong. And I just spilled it all out. She then asked in earnest if I would dance with her.

It wasn't until a couple of years ago when I chose to make seeing a therapist an important part of my life. I had seen others in the past, but when there was a break through, "OK, I'm fine now" and would drop them. Depression has brought things into my life, as well as taken things away. Right now, my life is the way it is because of my depression/anxiety. I've made it a point to take responsibility for my actions, within the last couple of years or so. I've gaslighted, undermined, downplayed, and even dismissed alot of my behavior because of my depression, and so where I am at now in life, is the result and byproduct of all this.

Yes, I've had depression and anxiety pretty much all my life, largely because of oppressive, hostile older siblings and severe bullying at school. No one deserves to go through what I've been through in my past. But nobody gave a shit.

I've been suffering from depression since childhood but never knew what it was until I went to college and took psychology classes. My first memory of being depressed is when my maternal grandmother passed away; I was seven years old at the time and she and i were very close. I was not allowed to go to the wake or funeral. No one ever picked up that I had changed. Then childhood sexual abuse came and exacerbated my depression and still, no one noticed. I've lived a lonely existence since childhood as I felt I was strange. I try to be social but it gets my anxiety up. Medication helps some, but in social settings, I still freak out. At 66 years of age, one would think I should have it together, sorry, the struggle continues.

I believe I have
My Mother suffered from postpartum, so the genetic factor is there

She was medicated with Thorazine
I never bonded with her in my baby—toddler years
She was very sick

I also had a trauma in my pre teens

So yes
I believe I did have it as a child

I was different, quiet, and felt out of place a lot

Yes I did but I didn't see a Dr untill I was older