Hi cindy, i was like u, i was physically and mentally abused by my 3 childrens dad, it became normal routine to me but others cldnt understand why, u have to be in it to understand, i felt that my life cldnt be anything without him in it or the kids being without their dad, he had affairs i forgave, then i snapped and no more, he left with new woman, but still wanted me incase his new life wouldnt last, i was a puppet on his string. I struggled and tried to fix my bipolar on my own but the heartache got better and i tried to end my life, felt my kids deserved better and every1 wid be better off without me, i was alone and had no1 to talk too, had no friends, just me and my thoughts, i had a cpl off relationships but the fear of being used and my kind heart got the piss took out ov me, so i decided i needed to find me 1st and reached out for help, i got the right medication and stayed single for along time, it wasnt about being able to trust men as u dont tarnish like the rest, i had to be me and a mother . I talked to myself which i still do, argued with my mind and i kept coming up with the same answer. I knew that everything that had happened to me wasnt my fault, i blamed myself for all those yrs and for wot????.... i did nuffin, i was a good woman and he was the abnormal. Theres light at the end off the tunnel hun, i met a great man and been together for 9yrs and gtn married soon, my kids are all terrific hard working parents, blessed with 6 grandkids, my fiance doesnt judge me for wen i have bad or manic days, he understands and loves me for me.
, .so please take time out and find u, dont blame u, ure the normal.....and hopefully in time u will be strong and find someone who really wants to love u for u......hugs x

Sounds like you are searching for love in all the wrong places. I know how you feel Iv been there but my husband never was mean to me he was the best and I treated him awful. I have carried that burden

for a long time. Even though I know God has forgiven me I'm having trouble forgivng myself. With God I can say this life is much better and the desire to do those things are gone. IM a manic depressive and its hard dealing with everyday life. His word keeps me alive and I do have joy besides the depression. Marriage counseling could be the answer and psychological help would too. It has helped me. Be truthful and honest. Prayers for you friend.

Jenny...#Crying

Hi Diane
thank you so much for your message I really appreciate it. I sometimes feel that no one understands I cry myself to sleep most days, I don't eat I just drink water or maybe eat once a day. I have become the centre of attraction people at work look at me and I can tell they see that I am going through hell. I look at my kids and I just want to die, they are concerned of me when I should be the one concerned about them. I feel so alone like no one understands my situation. As for bipolar that's another story...people look at you and judge you for that...it doesn't matter how hard you try they always see you as a sick person or one who wants sympathy. I wish I knew how to get myself out of this.