I only felt understood by fellow inpatients. Contact once discharged is frowned upon and visiting friends still in hospital not allowed. I know how u feel and it is personally hard to 'play the game' with professionals who havnt a clue what it feels like to be locked inside my head. Every couple months I try to meet with a friend or family member but pretending is exhausting and results in a week of bed rest after each. Sometimes I'm able to be polite, most times I just don't care how I come accross to others. If I'm able to walk my dog during the day and make eye contact with someone - that I consider a good day. You are in my thoughts.

eat well, sleep well, have hobbies, help others, doesn't always work though x

Its very sad to read your depression Jadeer. I don't think its healthy to play games with shrinks though. They are trained. I met the right one after 48 years of dealing with the wrong ones. He knew how to help me and changed my life. I was once you. Now with the proper meds I can plan and face each day positively- well most of them anyway. I take 41/2 pills a day to get me through- was six and I'm delighted to cut down but I will never stop them unless I'm told to.

A shrink told me that everyone gets depression. That helps. Sure people deal with it differently. I just need medication to give me a quality of life. I am grateful for that.

For me is not to stop meds. After a month or two I was back to where I started. Ratty and wake up with Anxiety that can kill. So now have accepted I need to take meds forever