It is absolutely not your problem. He made the choices to do those things that has nothing to do with you whatsoever, because of his disorder he is allowing himself the satisfaction of those choices. He is refusing to get the help he needs to overcome this battle he is going through. You can't take the blame for his own free will choices and what he does around you and behind your back, this is all him you are allowed to feel the way you do. Do not let him or what he does take you down all this means is that you are doing your best and I know where you are I went through something similar about 4 months ago with my husband because of his choices as well. He may be going down but that doesn't mean he has to take you with him. Stay strong.

Thank you everyone for your support and advice and yeah I am trying the very best I can to stay strong and stand tall somedays are easier then others thanks it's nice to know some people do actually care and thanks so much

Sorry that you are dealing with that. I believe that people with DID have no control or even knowledge sometimes of what their other personalities do. I know that doesn't make it any easier for you. I can't imagine how hard it is. Stay strong.

It's not your problem. It's his. You said he has dissociative personality disorder (is that dissociative identity disorder?). I have DID. I got help and it didn't require me to hurt others in the process. Is he getting help? Don't make his problems your fault! You didn't cause it! You have every right to be upset. You aren't causing him to do anything. You have a right to refuse when he mistreats you or ignores your feelings. That's my opinion of course. I'm not married. I did get involved with a narcissist who was a lot like what you describe. It finally came down to my sanity or his. I chose to save myself.