Sometimes i feel like you dont want to seem like a downer all the time to your spouse or significant other so its easier to cry when alone and fake a smile whe. Your with your spouse so you dont push them away. Does anyone else fake a smile daily and suffering alone?
All the time. My husband is amazing and understanding when i have to bad of a day i can't even be bothered with trying to hide it. But most days i slap a fake smile on and do anything to make sure he and my kids are happy, know they are loved and taken care of.
I know I don't need to fake smile or hide my true feeling but he works hard to provide for our little circus ( autistic twin three year olds and 3 dogs) and he has his own stress and depression. I don't want to pile my shit on top of him too when he needs help. Im the strong one. Always have been. One day i won't be able to but as long as i can be, i will be.
Absolutely! My husband recently went on disability after working 40 years. So, he is physically sick and now mentally struggling. Even before I got sick I had to learn not to talk to him no more than I had to His temper and treatment of me, was to the point of mental abuse. So, I started practicing to the point of going to another place emotionless just to survive through his emotional abuse. Trouble is my mind rejected all this and I got till I wanted to stay in my safe space. Now, he is mentally sick and if I need or want to talk to him about things it upsets him really really bad. I know this is very harmful to me but he is the kind of person when he gets better that he will throw it up in my face.
Yes
I fake it also
Me too. In fact in my case he doesn’t understand this illness so there is rage.
I always feel like I have to hide my feelings from my family. But, somehow they always know something is wrong. They don't think it's depression tho, they always think it's anger. What are you mad about? Nothing. Then the questions start then I really do become angry. But, yes, the majority of my time is spent alone, in my own apt, suffering alone. I don't really know if it would be any better if they knew. I don't think I have to hide it. It's just they don't understand very well and it makes them uncomfortable. They don't know what to say. I don't know what the situation is with your significant other is..is it that he doesn't know? Or just expects you to be happy?