I wish people would stop thinking that just because I can laugh and smile about things that I'm fine or "fixed". There are ups and downs. Having depression doesn't mean you can't ever feel happiness.

"Pull yourself together"

"Build a bridge and get over it"

"Why can't you just get over it already?"

"Snap out of it! No one likes a downer."

Or here's a good one -
"You're just lazy. You need to get yourself out a bit more. Exercise more and release those endorphins. You'll snap out of it in no time."

HELLO!!! Does anyone realise just how hard finding the motivation let alone the energy to get out and do just that? If it were that easy don't they realise that we would be doing that? People use the word "depression" so loosely it's ridiculous. People mistake depression for just sadness. But it is more than that. You can be sad and not have depression, yet you can have depression and not be sad. It is more than sadness and people think you just bung it on to suit yourself and get attention. Far from it! If people knew me well enough they would KNOW I hate attention. Social situations make me anxious and nervous. I hate crowds and lots of people.

Do they really know what it is like to live with such a condition? To isolate yourself so you don't have to socialise and become anxious? To feel alone and lonely and like no one understands? And yet you don't want to be around people at the same time? It's such a conflicting contradiction of emotional turmoil that NO ONE can understand unless they live through it themselves. I am sick and tired of being told to "just get over it" or "snap out of it" and all of the above statements. And the moment I try to express how I feel, I get lynched for being selfish, that there are people far worse off than me etc etc....yes, I know that. I appreciate that. But the issue is with how I feel? How can I get out of my head? How can I escape what is going on there?? I don't feel it to be selfish...it just is.

People do not believe that it is a true chemical imbalance. Its like having diabetes or hypertension. Its not our fault that we have been dealt THAT card. I feel as if society is getting better at accepting mental health issues. We deserve to be treated as anyone with a chronic condition. We need to seek treatment, do as well as we can. It isn't easy. People really don't know how to handle our condition. Heck, We at times don't know. Its frustrating to wake up and know we have another day of feeling down, hopeless and disconnecting with our world. The same for when we are in a manic state. I love to be there because I have energy and am happy, but I have spent more money than I have. People get annoyed at the fast talking and restlessness we exhibit. I think it is a blessing we have this website and can share our experiences and have a place to be US. Sorry for the long rant.

That "Depression" is the same thing as "feeling depressed". Everyone feels depressed sometimes but that is not what Depression is - it's a chemical condition in the brains of the afflicted.. When people say "What do you have to be depressed about", I want to slap them and say, "I am not depressed, I suffer from Depression".

The people with the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality really get on my nerves. They treat me as if I'm lazy, as if a little more effort on my part will cure everything.

I have been playing trial and error (mostly error), trying to find a medication that will help me - most of them hit me hard with side effects while offering no benefits.

Despite my depression, I have been reconsidering my self-employed career of 30 years (while still marketing my business), researching the job market, seeing a therapist, participating in a very helpful men's group called The Mankind Project, meditating, reading and journaling (including a gratitude journal). And I'm forcing myself to do these things much of the time as I combat crushing depression.

And yet a good friend sent me his "tough love" letter, telling me to get my poop in a group. I got so angry! I fired back a long response informing him tersely of all the work I was doing. He backed off and told me that he now "gets it". But there are thousands of others out there who don't "get it".

I'm glad this forum exists - it's a place where everyone "gets it".