Have you thought about asking someone near you (on here) if they're willing to meet up? If you're on Facebook, have you looked up any support groups for people with mental illnesses? I'm in several and they've become some of the closest friends I have. I don't have many friends or family members either, but when I posted in one of my FB support groups that something happened in my life that plunged me into a severe depressive episode and explained that I don't have many friends, several people sent me private messages and gave me their phone numbers. One woman I've never met in person has texted me every single day to see how I'm doing. It isn't thje same as having "real life" friends, but it does get me through the hard days because I feel I have some amount of support.

Now, I'm not a single parent, but I was raised by my single mother who has struggled with MDD for my entire life. You should know that you're doing amazing as a mother. You said you're being there for them and are making sure they're provided for. I know how crippling depression can be so the fact that you're trying to fight through that pain for their well-being and the fact that you're worried about them says a lot about who you are as a mother. You care, you try, you do your best. Explaining to them what's going on will help more than you know. I didn't know what my mom was going through so I blamed myself. When I found out what MDD and bipolar disorder was and how it affects people and how they feel during an episode, I was finally able to understand that the way she acted wasn't my fault. I know that had I known about it when I was a kid, I would've been much better off. It's amazing that you explained to them what you're dealing with.

Thank you for your words guys. People I meet are always telling me im doing so amazingly. But sometimes I can't help wonder how that can be true when I feel so rotten inside, like I can't be that strong because if I was surely I wouldn't feel like I'm failing so miserably?? Or is that question in itself just another bite from this depression that's making me doubt everything even further? Feel so stuck in a vicious cycle sometimes. The more I talk about how I'm feeling to my kids the more I hope they will understand...they seem to. I had no idea growing up about anything to do with mental health. Suffering from since I was about 13 years old? I thought people would think i was crazy so I never got help until my 20's. I won't let them grow up feeling that way that's for sure.

Thats a tough one..i am raising my 12 year old granddaughter alone now...her grandfather has no time for her...his choice...her mom is in prison...her dad has been gone since she was 4...sooo...idk..
Some days i got this...bot when my illness is acting up...whew

My kids, now 27 and 23, grew up with me having severe depression. I was a single mom, from the time they were 11 and 7. Explain what you can to them, they are going to understand. They will grow up more compassionate and caring than other kids. There was a lot of times, when it was all I could do to just get out of bed, and spend time watching tv with them( or sleeping on the couch while they watched), and then going to the park (once in a while) and let them let off some steam, while I watched... They just want you around, they love you, unconditionally.., as you do them. Don't beat yourself up, they will be just fine...

Thank you @A MyDepressionTeam Member

I know in my heart I'm doing the very best I can. I just also know they deserve so much more than the basics from me. I grew up with the necessities and not feeling much in the way of love from my parents. I was mostly really raised by my grandparents in fact. I guess it's those times when I don't feel like playing games or going to the park and I have to say no, it just instantly reminds me of the times I felt rejected as a child and I hate it.

I've not tried facebook groups or anything. Nor have I tried connecting with anyone local to me here online. Something about my anxiety prevents me reaching out to people on a personal level, the thought of rejection I guess. I've tried going to local meetup groups and workshops to find something positive to focus on but have yet to make any real connections.

Maybe I'll give your suggestion a try.

Although it would have been better for you to understand sooner, I'm glad to hear that you finally came to understand what was going on with your mother.

Thank you.

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