We are remembered by the things we do. Just because he was a bully, doesn't mean he never changed or did good. Learning to just accept the person for what they are and they're limits. Your a unique, one of a kind individual. Don't let someone else's life, define yours in anyway.

That's because you have to be loud about it! We as a society haven't been programmed to look for the good, we only look for the bad. It seems we're so focused on each other's opinions that we've lost the love for ourselves. I recently have decided to only focus on myself and my internal happiness and to only surround myself with those who truly care. Once I started being selfish a bit, everything was easier to deal with. As my counselor told me; "It's ok to be selfish sometimes. Your the only 'you' there is. Take care of yourself first. "

Well, I can certainly relate to feeling very lonely. Where I worked for 10.5 years, I was isolated, alone, and in a crime ridden part of town. There were days I wouldn't see another soul. The seven immediate family members I had all passed away of one cancer or another. Yes, I had a few dear friends...but all but two moved out of town, and the other two in town, were on the 'other' side of town, lol. I'm single (and lol, would love to be married) I'm outgoing, engaging, good listener, helpful/giving, good sense of humor, deep, creative and fun.
I think if I were to die, and someone interviewed each of my loved ones, you'd only get the answer they can give based on their perspective, & their personality. Some, will see me as 'loving' some will see me as 'witchy" cuz they caught me on a day I wasn't at my best and some will see me as 'sad' because of the loss in my life.
I don't think anyone knows me like God does and I've accepted that. For me, His opinion is the most important anyway! :) But based on your response, I get the sense you don't think others would honor you with their words. Maybe this is based on what they 'haven't' said to you thus far? People have such a defense system and pride, they don't often say what they really feel. They can really disappoint us & it's sad. Why not affirm/encourage and love on those you love 'now' instead of at a memorial or funeral for them. For me, I have an assurance that Christ will be my reward. So when others fall short (as we all will do) I go back to trusting God and back to my place of forgiving and loving people. And if they can't reciprocate affection or appreciation for me, then it's best I not invest myself into that relationship. Hope this brings some comfort into your heart tonight. ~Blessing

I can understand where you are coming from. You feel that although this guy had behaved in undesirable ways, yet many took time to post on his FB wall. He may have been a bully etc, however, he had family members who loved him and friends who did not see the side to his bullying ways. And usually when someone passes on, people just want or need to send their condolences to the deceased. He may have changed after leaving school and become a better person, it is not known.

We have to be who we are and live life our way. You have a set of values that make you who you are, and many people can see that although you may not notice it. It is a hard place to be in when you think that nobody would actually care if something happened to you.

You need to care what happens to you. The most important action is to care about YOU.

YOU are worth it.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member: I don't believe he was a bad person. I just think that during the time I knew him he did some shitty things. But he had twelve years to grow out of those habits, and he probably did.

I'm not measuring my worth against his, but I can see how my wording may have left that impression. The reaction to his death was just a catalyst for my thoughts, that's all.

Now, you say we're remembered for the things we do. That's the problem, you see? It appears to me as if people always either don't notice, or forget very quickly and easily, the good things I do for them, or the good things they witness me doing. I don't expect flowers and chocolate-covered lapdances, but I would like to think that someone somewhere would value good-heartedness. I don't seem to encounter many people who do.

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