You can go to the government hospitsl . in South Africa government hospitals are free if you earn a little bit. You can see s Psychiatrist and get meds that will help you cope

Okay im only 22 years old and I had 4 strokes and a brain bleed when I was 15 it did change my life for sure i understand how u don't wanna live I felt it too sad to say all i did was become a addict after the fact witch didn't help my situation anymore or less but I stopped the drugs and I realized there's help out there for me so I took Aa and NA and went to rehab and quit and im a recovering addict now that's been 8 months clean and I can't even believe this and I still have to deal the brain thing too so I learnt more about it and I started to understand where I hand to go after that witch is i need help from others well i hope this kinda helped a lil

I also live with a head injury from my horse, not his fault of course but from that my depression deepened and was diagnosed with MDD. Everyone here knows the pain your in but most of all you will get the support you need. Take care of you!!

Thank you

You need to get on some medication asap. God works through Dr. s and meds.