Meth back in 2002. Cold turkey. Just woke up on Christmas day and walked away. Never touched another drug since. I never said I wasn't stubborn. When I make up my mind to do something, I do it.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member No, it does not sound crazy. I'm very sure you know that we are not what we have, but accepting it is another story. I was always under the impression that bigger arms and shoulders would make others accept me better. I was also very sure that it would bring self acceptance and make up for my flaws. It didn't. Self acceptance is not something I have achieved yet, but at least I know that certain things won't get me there.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member I can relate to the binge eating. It was a problem in the past and came back in full force after I had done my first bodybuilding show. I LET RIP, because I deserved it. By then I was deep into my depression and didn't even know it. Long story short, I am now focused on eating healthy and living likewise. I refuse to use the term diet, because I choose it as lifestyle. Hopefully this way I will lose all the weight I have gained.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member Rejection can be deadly. I'm sorry to hear that you have been let down so badly.

@A MyDepressionTeam Member Well said!

@A MyDepressionTeam Member My problem is not escaping my own head, it is the need to feel human again and alcohol is the only thing that can do that. Yes, I drink too much and it clashes with my aim of healthy living. I tried going cold turkey (which didn't last long) and forced myself to try other healthy, sane alternatives to bring about balance, but nothing. I say balance, because it is literally what it feels like. Apart from a slight hang over the next day, I feel focused and ready for things. I'm forcing myself to drink less frequently and it seems to work, Once I'm down to once or twice a week, I will tackle quantity. For me the only consequences are health related. When I drink I don't cause trouble or get aggressive, I literally chill out. I also don't drink to the point where I cannot pitch for work the next day.These are not excuses and it does not give me licence, but it tells me that if I can find something else "to restore the balance", I won't need alcohol. It's good to hear that you have been able to move from excessive to moderate, because I love good wine and enjoy beer, but don't want it controlling me. If you have any other tips, I would love to hear them, as I'm very serious about getting this under control!

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Yes I have...I think going back to church had a lot to do with beating them. That and a determined will to stop self-destructing and start living this life for real! :-)

@A MyDepressionTeam Member I know one thing my addiction had nothing to do with a lack of love, the moment you inhaled you were hooked, I would hear if people going to prison for 6 months, not having any, as soon as they got out, back on it, it wasn't easy but I felt I could not have any outside influences stopping me from getting off it, around the area that I live when one of my old mates sees me they shout SUPERMAN, which makes me feel quite proud, I have worked with the young teenagers at the local community centre trying to put across what that drug can do to not only you but anyone close. It was the drug they call smack, heroin.

In my wary years I was addicted to a horrible, viscous drug, that would make you forget who you were, the world was tranquil, until you needed another fix. I was hooked for 10 years, along with all my mates that I have had to cut ties with, as they were not ready to move on, I did it for ME! Spent three weeks alone in my flat, with no help/( my own choice) it was extreme, when detox was over, I got a job and cycled everyday. After about 3 months cravings went and I got on with my life.
But to this day, I can walk past someone and smell it on them, but goes to bother me. Hope that helped