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Family Unsure How To Assist
A MyDepressionTeam Member asked a question 💭

Good day everyone

I am not sure how your family helped or is helping you with your depression currently.
I have recently been diagnosed with depression and it has taken its toll on my family. They are still struggling to adapt to the moods and emotions. My mother is trying to be as supportive as possible but uncertain on how to go about helping me. I can't advice her as I myself do not even know. any feedback will be appreciated

Thank you

posted November 4, 2016
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A MyDepressionTeam Member

Get a book that you can write in, leave it in a place where the family can have access to it, when you get up in the morning and it.s one of those days write it in the book, express how you are feeling, they can then read it and maybe even write some encouragement in return, It takes the emotion and stress out of the communication, which can sometimes lead to verbal arguments because the family don't always understand how we feel and we then just detach.

posted December 13, 2016
A MyDepressionTeam Member

A friend of mine gave my family a book called Living with the Black Dog- it describes, in cartoon style, how depression affects a person, and how loved ones can help. It was invaluable to me and my family.

posted November 5, 2016
A MyDepressionTeam Member

First of all, I'm happy to hear that your mum is being supportive. It's hard for families to see their loved ones in pain and sometimes they don't know how to respond and take offense.

My family know, after a long talk and many years of my bipolar episodes of mania and depression, that my anger, depression, frustration and confusion is not their fault. And that it's not directed at them... I tell them it's nothing personal... I just get to a stage where I can't cope and I need them to just sometimes come and give me a hug. Nothing more. Other times, I need space.

Talking to your family in a sit down session and discussing what options are available to them goes a long way. Think about how you feel when you're really in that space of confusion and frustration...what is it that makes you feel better? Maybe just someone sitting with you and having a cuppa, or just giving you some space to think.

Let them know your limits as @A MyDepressionTeam Member said. And know your boundaries as well. Try to understand what is acceptable for both you and them in managing your illness. I hope this has been helpful to you. :)

posted November 4, 2016
A MyDepressionTeam Member

At first once I was properly diagnosed with depression my family wernt sure what to say or do; but now over 10 years on they have learnt to just listen! If I disappear of the radar my parents or youngest sister come looking for me and just sit with me. They know if I can't go out not to push it, if they think I can manage it they pick me up and take me to their hour for an afternoon out. The most important thing is that nowadays they know my limits and don't expect more than I am capable of doing!!

posted November 4, 2016
A MyDepressionTeam Member

Hi there, I have been diagnosed with bipolar depression almost ten years ago. At first it was very difficult for my parents and especially for my sister because she felt I should 'snap out of it' or just convince myself that I was not feeling so awful.

It would be great if your mom could meet your psychiatrist and/or psychologist as they always provide good tips and know all the ins and outs of our disorders. It would also be good for them to do some research if they are interested - for example my boyfriend has joined a group of supporters on the internet and they often post updates and helpful articles etc.

Our friends and family must realis that it is more common than they realise and that there is nothing wrong with US as people. It is the same as having high blood pressure- you drink your meds and you cope. Tell your parents how you feel and always be open to them, sometimes I think they understand more than we know.

Hope this helps a little.

posted November 4, 2016

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